Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I did not marry a roomba.
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