What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
