woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize