I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
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Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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