i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
