i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish i was in the wii world.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Randomize
