I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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