Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I hate you but I'm not in hate with you

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  (818): I hate you but I'm not in hate with you http://tfl.nu/vrzb
  Replies (5) Good night (1636) Bad night (516)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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  (281): I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him http://tfl.nu/1o2o
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (603)
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  (650): View more from California

  It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases

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  (650): It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases http://tfl.nu/zsan
  Replies (17) Good night (626) Bad night (5662)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS

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  (207): Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS http://tfl.nu/yr3m
  Replies (8) Good night (4271) Bad night (686)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy

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  (208): I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy http://tfl.nu/tuq9
  Replies (16) Good night (901) Bad night (3324)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.

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  (410): Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad. http://tfl.nu/536n
  Replies (22) Good night (1197) Bad night (3708)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining

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  (304): i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining http://tfl.nu/3fon
  Replies (9) Good night (5365) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.

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  (727): I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now. http://tfl.nu/6a5q
  Replies (17) Good night (928) Bad night (4058)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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  (206): I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia http://tfl.nu/go1o
  Replies (6) Good night (2650) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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  (719): hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year. http://tfl.nu/9tpx
  Replies (3) Good night (1388) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis

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  (860): He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis http://tfl.nu/bzb9
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.

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  (602): Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side. http://tfl.nu/uoi7
  Replies (2) Good night (883) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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  (720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...

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  (440): I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning... http://tfl.nu/pfq3
  Replies (14) Good night (1681) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....

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  (618): My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why.... http://tfl.nu/ypyl
  Replies (4) Good night (326) Bad night (725)

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