Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?