Texts From Last Night

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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

  (1-620): View more from Kansas

  No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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  (620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k
  Replies (9) Good night (1392) Bad night (495)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.

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  (479): i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for. http://tfl.nu/5iul
  Replies (22) Good night (3303) Bad night (594)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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  (585): Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did. http://tfl.nu/1e6o
  Replies (27) Good night (614) Bad night (12855)
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  (415): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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  (415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t
  Replies (76) Good night (9867) Bad night (875)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.

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  (847): woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score. http://tfl.nu/p406
  Replies (26) Good night (9180) Bad night (723)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (4945) Bad night (2661)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where my bra went.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

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  (303): I don't know where my bra went. (1-303): Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/03yq
  Replies (22) Good night (7891) Bad night (992)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.

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  (706): I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/uth4
  Replies (20) Good night (1479) Bad night (4056)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?

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  (615): Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER? http://tfl.nu/yz8w
  Replies (14) Good night (5460) Bad night (1132)
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  (424): View more from California

  he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety

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  (424): he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety http://tfl.nu/36fw
  Replies (12) Good night (3522) Bad night (825)
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.

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  (951): I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad. http://tfl.nu/nyqb
  Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (2679)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

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  (518): Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend. http://tfl.nu/xnkx
  Replies (8) Good night (779) Bad night (1204)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking

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  (262): The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/wbzc
  Replies (7) Good night (494) Bad night (1047)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.

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  (563): I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join. http://tfl.nu/n2je
  Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (366)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me

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  (+44): They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me http://tfl.nu/sbg9
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (337)

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