Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Can you return condoms to CVS?

(516): View more from New York

Only if you return your pride as well.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Can you return condoms to CVS? (516): Only if you return your pride as well. http://tfl.nu/vx1b

Replies (32) Good night (825) Bad night (3760)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that? http://tfl.nu/amhf

Replies (16) Good night (3840) Bad night (1109)
Favorite
(985): View more from Louisiana

BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART

(601): View more from Mississippi

Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(985): BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART (601): Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know. http://tfl.nu/j9ff

Replies (49) Good night (5612) Bad night (902)
Favorite
(707): View more from California

he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?

(1-707): View more from California

logic in its finest

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i? (1-707): logic in its finest http://tfl.nu/z7qz

Replies (41) Good night (4841) Bad night (2763)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me. http://tfl.nu/ei1k

Replies (19) Good night (1760) Bad night (4000)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation. http://tfl.nu/ifsj

Replies (12) Good night (5052) Bad night (1930)
Favorite
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(403): Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season. http://tfl.nu/yv9x

Replies (9) Good night (2568) Bad night (944)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother. http://tfl.nu/6hsn

Replies (9) Good night (2709) Bad night (1264)
Favorite
(509): View more from Washington

I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim

Replies (7) Good night (2461) Bad night (669)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent. http://tfl.nu/lgq0

Replies (7) Good night (1501) Bad night (514)
Favorite
(956): View more from Texas

You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(956): You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night" http://tfl.nu/lqee

Replies (7) Good night (1216) Bad night (531)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER. http://tfl.nu/g3ji

Replies (1) Good night (1381) Bad night (446)
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot. http://tfl.nu/b8ei

Replies (5) Good night (1034) Bad night (474)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist http://tfl.nu/rhd5

Replies (0) Good night (805) Bad night (458)
Favorite
(952): View more from Minnesota

You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(952): You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat. http://tfl.nu/y56r

Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (829)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard