I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize