I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i think i have herpe
just one?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
