I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize