Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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