you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
