All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
