i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize