She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
