Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it

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  (202): Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it http://tfl.nu/1l0l
  Replies (1) Good night (914) Bad night (825)
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.

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  (516): If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals. http://tfl.nu/q4jm
  Replies (9) Good night (926) Bad night (1450)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.

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  (214): There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence. http://tfl.nu/c80w
  Replies (52) Good night (4165) Bad night (730)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

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  (832): Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it... http://tfl.nu/2lrl
  Replies (9) Good night (666) Bad night (3752)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  what drugs are you on?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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  (404): I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles! (1-404): what drugs are you on? (404): none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later http://tfl.nu/mtfu
  Replies (26) Good night (5365) Bad night (877)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.

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  (864): For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before. http://tfl.nu/hdcs
  Replies (35) Good night (8906) Bad night (1237)
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  (872): View more from Illinois

  mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning

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  (872): mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning http://tfl.nu/e3e8
  Replies (11) Good night (1467) Bad night (4759)
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  (530): View more from California

  Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.

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  (530): Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe. http://tfl.nu/c8em
  Replies (14) Good night (6370) Bad night (1662)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

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  (601): I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha. http://tfl.nu/8fn5
  Replies (7) Good night (2241) Bad night (998)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.

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  (914): We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night. http://tfl.nu/ey4f
  Replies (6) Good night (2294) Bad night (1567)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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  (480): he seriously made his penis a facebook. http://tfl.nu/bto1
  Replies (15) Good night (4420) Bad night (1893)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.

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  (305): If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals. http://tfl.nu/sngt
  Replies (4) Good night (1241) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

  (518): View more from New York

  So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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  (203): If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi. (518): So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits? http://tfl.nu/jsif
  Replies (36) Good night (5035) Bad night (1082)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.

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  (902): Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on? (1-902): I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over. http://tfl.nu/3b2m
  Replies (8) Good night (478) Bad night (816)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with

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  (518): You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with http://tfl.nu/vbdb
  Replies (5) Good night (2058) Bad night (458)

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