Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

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  (219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won. http://tfl.nu/tu5d
  Replies (36) Good night (22035) Bad night (3416)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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  (757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!" http://tfl.nu/94sw
  Replies (84) Good night (13555) Bad night (1886)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.

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  (303): normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective. http://tfl.nu/9jpo
  Replies (28) Good night (5557) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  why weren't you at the audition last night?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  booty call before role call

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  (804): why weren't you at the audition last night? (1-804): booty call before role call http://tfl.nu/sna4
  Replies (17) Good night (5249) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.

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  (402): Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER. http://tfl.nu/3m46
  Replies (23) Good night (2264) Bad night (3809)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling

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  (815): just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling http://tfl.nu/a8k8
  Replies (18) Good night (2319) Bad night (3933)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.

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  (281): Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes. http://tfl.nu/y77d
  Replies (11) Good night (1023) Bad night (4241)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  it's like heaven, but drunker

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  (940): it's like heaven, but drunker http://tfl.nu/yzff
  Replies (3) Good night (3019) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.

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  (310): Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever. http://tfl.nu/0wwj
  Replies (6) Good night (2537) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision

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  (702): Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision http://tfl.nu/1pgb
  Replies (21) Good night (4809) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.

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  (509): I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother. http://tfl.nu/1k08
  Replies (4) Good night (1644) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me

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  (815): This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me http://tfl.nu/y5v6
  Replies (6) Good night (507) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.

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  (601): It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/yyx4
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.

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  (757): If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible. http://tfl.nu/lbns
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (110)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend

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  (727): being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend http://tfl.nu/2oap
  Replies (2) Good night (88) Bad night (163)

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