Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse

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(410): View more from Maryland

You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.

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(650): View more from California

some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!

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(818): View more from California

Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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(248): View more from Michigan

I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.

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