at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.