It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so let's talk penis.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.