Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?

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(352): View more from Florida

my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

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(209): View more from California

Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?

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(+61): View more from Australia

He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.

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