stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize