I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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