that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
