if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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