my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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