I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
