I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
