She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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