Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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