I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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