its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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