The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
