I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
