i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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