if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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