I love black thongs
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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