its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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