your parents love me but you hate me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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