True but thats because hes a fetus.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
