another moral hangover. fuck.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
