so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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