i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
