My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it hurts more in the daytime
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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