Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
