You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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