She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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