Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.