dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.