I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.