Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
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I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.