Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.