Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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