Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
