got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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