he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
