The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
