I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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