Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
