i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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