I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
