i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
