so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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