i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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